I am getting so impatient.  Supposedly we get more patient as we age.  I think we just move slower and mistake that for patience.

August 12 was 17 days ago.  Weighed 318 that day.   This morning I recorded 316, but that was with the water retention the lasix hadn't yet cleared.   I could probably minus a pound or two and say today's wt is 314.5.  But over 2 weeks, I've lost only 3.5 lbs!!!   That is sooooooo pitiful!


We will return to Watertown next Tuesday.  I will weigh late Wednesday morning after the lasix effect is over.  That will be my lowest weight of the day.  (I have been recording my weight from that time of day here in the blog.)  I can guarantee my lowest weight by taking these measures after taking lasix:
     1)  not drinking anything until after urination has stopped
     2)  not eating anything until after urination has stopped
     3)  weighing naked (!)

I routinely do 1 and 2.  I routinely weigh wearing underwear and a light gown.  I need to stop obsessing about how to see my lowest weight.  My greatest fear is that I will step on the scale and 3 or 4 pounds will have jumped back on!  I would like to weigh under 300 ASAP!!!  Today Bob and I weigh about the same.  He is over 6 feet and looks just awful.  That means at 5'4" I must look like Jabba the Hutt.  I avoid full length mirrors and look into any mirror only briefly.  I get sick when I see pictures of myself.  That is not who I am inside.  I think my weight is what makes me have trouble sleeping Saturday nights: my church friends will see me. I dread putting on a dress and trying to make my hair interesting enough to distract from my piles of flab.  I am trapped inside.

Tomorrow will be a better day, as Scarlet O'Hara says.

I know God loves me.  I don't deserve it.  

Turns out that I lied.  I did not weigh myself after the lasix pill was done doing its magic.  We spent the morning getting ready to leave for MN, which included Bob frying up some Little Smokies and making me eat half of them.  (Humor/sarcasm; I am responsible for what I eat, not Bob.)  I LOVE sausages, and he browned them just the way I love.  It is actually "blacking" them as I grew up with a mother who cooked the living daylights out of meat to kill the "trichinosis" that was undoubtedly in every speck of it back in the 1940s and 50s when she was raising her brood.  So YUMMY on this morning's sausage.

I must admit I DID weigh myself shortly after taking the lasix.  (Maybe after my first urination.)  And I weighed 316, wearing my housecoat.  Bummer.  But still NOT 348!

Amen!

Yesterday I was disappointed that I was plateauing.  Then today I ate a sandwich with 2 slices of bread.  After a grease fire in the oven, we took our dinner guests (the LDS missionaries from our branch) out to eat at the luxurious Burger King! I had a Whopper Junior, small fries, and diet soda.  Next week, we plan to fix the same menu and be very careful when putting the chicken into the oven.  Then we can feed the missionaries our potatoes in the oven along with Martha Logan chicken, which is cooked first in a frying pan and then baked in the oven.  The fresh broccoli we hadn't started to steam when the fire occurred we will take with us to MN this weekend.

Anyway, back to the plateau. . . .   Eating about 3/4 lb of grapes for breakfast helped me "feed" my impatience over the plateau.  The bread I ate today, while not really an awful wandering off my plans in following the DASH diet, made me feel kind of guilty.  But I was brave and stepped on the scale this afternoon, and was amazed to see I had dropped a pound since yesterday morning!!!  I wonder if I would have lost more if I had not eaten so much.

So I will weigh tomorrow morning before we depart for our drive to MN.  I will weigh again when we return next Tuesday.  Today's afternoon weight was 312.4.  Will it be higher in the morning?  I hope not.

Can hardly wait to get back from the holiday weekend and open a rec center membership!  Looking forward to building up my lung power and endurance by starting on a stationary bike!

Hope to learn about doing pictures from my son Ryan this weekend.  Bringing the laptop with when we visit.

313 again.  It would be nice to lose a pound a day, but it's rare.  You hear on TV ads how so-and-so lost 100 lbs in 90 days.  And you see how so-and-so lost lbs and lbs of belly fat after using certain pills or a certain belly band while exercising.  But my real life is less remarkable.  Yes, I feel a bit down that I haven't lost faster.  But my goal of being in the 290s by September 25 lifts me up.  Short term goals keep us on track best.  If I make 145 my only goal, 168 lbs is what I need to shed!!!  And seeing that I STILL need to take off more than half of my body weight is pretty deflating!!

But on the other hand, when I get to 145, I will have lost 203 lbs from the highest weight I can admit to.   My highest on the scale was 348, but that was after I had had the flu for a couple of days, so was most likely dehydrated.  That was the reason I felt safe to weigh that day last spring.  It was probably the least I could weigh at that time.

So 35 lost.  But then, I have lost that amount several times in the past few years.  But then I would put it back.  My bariatric surgeon told me when I went in for an annual check that if I hadn't had the surgery I'd probably weigh 500 lbs!  I told myself that is what he needed to tell himself.

Lots of things going on today.  Miranda says she will be over.  I have to type up the program for the Primary sacrament service presentation.  I have to make several batches of suckers.  I should embroider at least one quilt square center.  I have 34 to do for the 2 baby quilts for babies due Oct 28 and Dec 3.

I'm tired just thinking of what is coming up today!

Well, I didn't post my weight Monday, August 26.  The reason is that I ate a bunch of grapes for breakfast and thought that much food would change my weight enough to make it inaccurate in comparison to earlier weight-ins.

I can hardly wait until I get below 300.  I'm getting excited!  I expect I am the only person who ever got excited about that weight goal!

The first of September is nearly here, which means we get to join the rec center soon.  I can hardly wait to exercise.  I'll start on a stationary bike to build up some lung power and then go on from there.  I will see about hiring someone to set me up on a scheduled plan after that.

I have an appt with my cardiologist September 10.  It will show a good weight loss!  Not GREAT, like I had hoped.  But it took me longer than it should have to get off sugared soft drinks.

Yesterday after church, Bob and I were invited to Mark and Nancy Lueck's house.  They fed us, Stan and Sheila Lamb, and the missionaries, Elder Aschcroft and Elder Hala'ufia.  We had some crispy fried flour tortillas topped with refried beans, vegetables, sour cream, and a choice of salsas.  Nancy had made creme broulet for the first time and used a blow torch to make the sugar into a crackling top, right there at the kitchen counter.  So I ate everything I was offered, except for the sugared KoolAid.  I was very moderate and was satisfied.  But the dessert creme broulet came in custard cups and I ate it all.  Later in the evening, I finished off the potato salad that was left over from Friday when we fed the missionaries dinner here.  Bad decision!  But I'm forgiving myself and carrying on from here.

This morning my blood sugar was 144.  My weight was 316 a half hour ago, but I know that will come down after the lasix pill, which I took this morning, has finished doing its daily job.  I'll post today's weight in a couple of hours.

Today I'm planning to make lollipops so I can send some to Mary in Utah and have some for Bob and for taking with for kids and grandkids when we go to MN Thursday.  I am not tempted by the suckers.  I do enjoy smelling them as I mix and pour them.  I also plan to cut more fabric for the baby quilts.  There is something very calming and therapeutic about that.  Strange, eh?

Today I weighed in at 313!  I pray for the strength and resolve to keep eating wisely.  I'll write more later if I make time to do so.  Had a great day at church and are going to eat with friends this afternoon. I think I'm okay to eat reasonably.  But I go there with a prayer in my heart.