I am getting so impatient.  Supposedly we get more patient as we age.  I think we just move slower and mistake that for patience.

August 12 was 17 days ago.  Weighed 318 that day.   This morning I recorded 316, but that was with the water retention the lasix hadn't yet cleared.   I could probably minus a pound or two and say today's wt is 314.5.  But over 2 weeks, I've lost only 3.5 lbs!!!   That is sooooooo pitiful!


We will return to Watertown next Tuesday.  I will weigh late Wednesday morning after the lasix effect is over.  That will be my lowest weight of the day.  (I have been recording my weight from that time of day here in the blog.)  I can guarantee my lowest weight by taking these measures after taking lasix:
     1)  not drinking anything until after urination has stopped
     2)  not eating anything until after urination has stopped
     3)  weighing naked (!)

I routinely do 1 and 2.  I routinely weigh wearing underwear and a light gown.  I need to stop obsessing about how to see my lowest weight.  My greatest fear is that I will step on the scale and 3 or 4 pounds will have jumped back on!  I would like to weigh under 300 ASAP!!!  Today Bob and I weigh about the same.  He is over 6 feet and looks just awful.  That means at 5'4" I must look like Jabba the Hutt.  I avoid full length mirrors and look into any mirror only briefly.  I get sick when I see pictures of myself.  That is not who I am inside.  I think my weight is what makes me have trouble sleeping Saturday nights: my church friends will see me. I dread putting on a dress and trying to make my hair interesting enough to distract from my piles of flab.  I am trapped inside.

Tomorrow will be a better day, as Scarlet O'Hara says.

I know God loves me.  I don't deserve it.