Looking back on these posts, I am impressed by how FAST time passes.  I have been dragging my heels for MONTHS, staying well above 280, fluctuating in the 280s and 290s.  (Mostly staying above 290.)  Thank the Lord I am keeping my thoughts positive and hopeful.  Now I need to keep my actions positive and hopeful as well.  Plan menus from DASH.  Eat what is on those menus.   Exercise at the rec center on a regular basis.

Bob and I both--at last--weighed ourselves after weeks of careless eating.  I gained 7 or 8 pounds and he gained 9.  Both of us jumped back on the band wagon and spent yesterday behaving.  Bob has been going to the rec center, but since my fall on the ice last month, I am stalling about getting into exercise.  The parking lot at the center is now clear of ice, but yesterday I was feeling sick.  I assume it was what I call withdrawal from sugar.  I do feel much better today.  But still weak.

So, I weigh 292.  I was down to 285.  I really can't think to write any more right now.

Over a month has passed since I last wrote here on my blog!!!  Time speeds more every day I live, and I plan to live many more years.

Since this is mostly a record of my health concerns and weight loss, I have to admit I have gained a pound over the least I weighed since I started DASH.  Again, DASH stands for Dietetic Approaches to Stop Hypertension. Or something like that.  It seems mostly concerned with high blood pressure when you read the words.  I only have a slight BP concern, and I'm on a med for that.  I'm thinking I'll get OFF that med when I lose more weight and get more fit.  At any rate, DASH is the diet our old hospital in Minnesota has their senior citizens and others with cardiac concerns following.  It is basically a whole food diet for diabetics as well, so I call it the diet every human being should follow.

I spent last Thursday through Saturday on a solo trip of a bit over 200 miles to be at the Saturday birthday party for Dan and Jenny's older daughter, Grace, who turns 2 years old this week.  Nora is 4 months old.  They have their hands full!  And to think they were afraid they would never be able to conceive.  They went to a fertility doctor and had Grace.  Then Nora came all on her own.  A bonus!!! So I had a great time, and was able to drive without any problem.  I had an energy drink along, just in case.

Sunday I was super achey and tired and had a very upset stomach, probably because I was eating all kinds of stuff.  Sugar drinks, birthday cake, croissants.  Had Mountain Dew in the car on the way back to SD.  2 cans.  I called in sick for church, and Pam Taylor played piano for sacrament service.  Since our church's water was still frozen and so was the water in the hose from the neighboring church, our church was dismissed after that meeting.  So no Sunday School classes and no Primary/RS/priesthood/youth classes.  I slept most of Sunday.  But I was so glad to have been with family and friends for that party.

So now I'm trying to be faithful to DASH, and I'm not doing well so far.  While in MN, I went to Costco with Dan and Jenny and the girls.  I bought mixed nuts, among other things, and have been munching away at them since Saturday.  I also bought almonds, but they aren't such a temptation.  So I learned to not buy mixed nuts again until I am stronger in my determination.  I also bought some mixed snacks, which are like Gardettos, but I gave them to Miranda's family this evening because they contain a lot of gluten snacks.  In fact, I think all the parts of the mix are made from wheat flour.  Bob doesn't care of them, and I decided it best to give them to Miranda and kids because they will enjoy them.  I should have been strong enough to give them the mixed nuts, but Bob really likes them.  Oh well. . . .

Today I went to the hospital to get a blood draw as I routinely do to keep track of my INR while I am on coumadin/warfarin.  While walking back to the car, I noticed I was getting a bit winded, showing myself what lack of exercise does.  We have a rec center membership, but since I fell on the ice last month, I have been staying in the house.  Lots of people came and helped me up, but I was quite sore and very bruised, especially on my right knee and leg.  Hurt a lot!  And very embarrassing.  I was SOOOO glad to be 70 lighter than my highest weight.

At the party, I had Abby take a picture of me and Ginger.  Oh, how ugly.  I look just as fat as I was before I lost 70 pounds.  I obviously never had a clear picture of myself.  But I am keeping the picture on my phone to remind myself what I really look like!  I am, after all, wearing the same clothes, only they are looser.  Maybe I'm changing from semi-solid to mostly-flabby.  But I do fit into the theater seats at Cinema 5 here in Watertown and into restaurant booths.

And I do feel so much better, especially when I stay true to the DASH plan.  My weight is 286, one pound up from my lowest recorded weight.  I haven't lost a thing since last December.  Time to repent!!!  I want to be in the best shape I am able so I can enjoy life and get around now that Bob and I are both retired.  I refuse to be one of those seniors who simply lets inactivity and bad diet make them unable to move about and join in life with family and friends.

More than half done with Phase 1.  Today is day 8.  However, yesterday I ate an Arby's roast beef without removing the bun.  In other words, I ate bread, which is NOT included in this phase.

So I felt guilty.  I still feel somewhat guilty today, but know holding onto that will only chip away at my resolve to lose the rest of my excess weight.  It could even drive me to give up completely, as I have (OBVIOUSLY) in the past.

But by next Friday, I want to be able to  register a total weight loss of 70 pounds.  I will publish Friday's weight.  BTW: I broke my word because I have been weighing myself.  I stated at the beginning of Phase 1 I wouldn't weigh again until after Phase 1 was over.  I modified that and will not PUBLISH my weight until next Friday or Saturday.

I had to go to the hospital for my routine blood draw, so I also went to Walmart and bought some groceries.  Bob has been so good about getting me what I need to stay on DASH that I got him some bananas and oranges.  He has been changing his diet snacks more to fruit than candy and other high calorie food.  The only thing they don't have it Real Peanut Butter, so I'll get that Monday at HyVee.  After finding their brand of light yogurt's banana flavor, I tried their key lime flavor and found it great also.  On Phase 1 I get to have one 6-oz yogurt per day.  Still relishing that by taking time to eat it very slowly.  I bought romaine to make my "sandwiches" and found smoked sliced turkey at the deli counter for only $2.98 per pound.  I suppose it is made from the leftover meat at some processing plant, but hey, how bad could it taste?  I'll find out today at lunch.

While out yesterday I got some cash and some gas for the Escape.  As I waited for the attendant to fill the tank and bring out the paper to sign for the charge card (Yes, we have a Sinclair station where gas is pumped for us!), I had the window open.  It was fairly cold, but it felt good to get a bit chilly with the sun shining on me.  I felt so alive and clear.

So I'm planning to keep myself alive and clear on this 8th day of Phase 1.   I'll let you know next time I post!

Day 5 of Phase 1.  I will not mention weight until the 14 days are over and I start on Phase 2.  Phase 2 is another word for the rest of my life eating plan.

Day 4 (yesterday) I was successful in keeping my eating on track.  So exhilarating!  I believe my talking about DASH diet on Facebook is helping me.  For one, I want to keep up with so many friends who are losing weight and getting healthier.  For another, I don't want to disappoint others who are giving me kudos for losing weight.  And finally, I don't want to disappoint myself after having come this far.

To most, losing 66 pounds is a great accomplishment.  Marie Osmond lost only 50, but she has earned bragging rights and tells about her success many times a day in her ad for Nutrisystem.  I was on Nutrisystem for a number of months and know it is a marvelous diet.  Of course, I stopped using it and regained weight and added even more for good measure!  What I am concentrating on now is choosing foods that are readily available and using them as they were meant to be used.  The Word of Wisdom, a revelation given to Joseph Smith in the 1800s, advises us how to eat.  The main advice about food is moderation.  

I remember when I was 30.  That was in 1976.  I had my stomach "stapled" by a surgeon who did many of those procedures.  I had that surgeon operate again a few years later because the suture line had come undone.  After the second surgery, I could tell the suture line failed again, so I didn't go see him again.  In 1997 or so, I had my third bariatric surgery, only this time by Dr Dan Baker in the Minneapolis area.  I lost after that, but then started re-gaining.  Again, I gained even more.  I think I was around 275-295 for a long time after that.  Then Nutrisystem and a few other seminars/plans.  Years later, I somehow got up to 354, even though I could tell my third surgery suture line held up.  It is indeed possible to graze one's way to morbid obesity even after successful surgery.  Gastric bypass only gives you a year or less to lose weight while you take on better habits.  The surgeon's offices are full of scrapbook pages of those who have lost all their excess weight after surgery.  They do not show any pictures of those of us who regained their weight.  I hope they now advise people that it is possible to get obese again.  I know they have support groups, unlike when I had surgery.

I will never forget one of the security guards at Mercy Hospital.  She was very tall and fairly young.  Only she was morbidly obese.  She walked around strong and proud. But she avoided eye contact.  Well, she had the surgery and got almost down to being normal weight.  Then she regained every pound she had lost.  I was not one of her acquaintances, so I didn't ever have the occasion to talk with her about anything, much less her surgery.  But I was as sadder for than for myself.

Feeling a bit down today.  Weather is so cold.  Bob is fretting because he can't think of what we should have for dinner.  I told him we should steam our fresh cauliflower and have some meat and a lettuce salad.  We have plenty of food here.  I guess nothing is inspiring him today.

I really should take a new picture of myself for Facebook.  I can easily take a "selfie" with the iPhone.  I might even be able to post it without help from Phil or Ryan!!

I had better get something to drink.  I'm so dry!  I have to keep reminding myself to drink water when I feel hungry.  I have too often mistaken thirst for hunger and eaten instead of having a drink of water.  I could then also have my light yogurt, which I love to enjoy slowly while I watch TV.   Last night I finished off a stalk of celery, but I have another I can clean and bag for today.  I'd like to buy the celery hearts rather than whole stalks because the outside stalks are most often not as good a flavor as the others.  When I get a whole stalk, I feel honor bound to eat all of the stalks.  Oh well.

I haven't used this blogsite since last November, when I weighed in at 294.  My last weight was 288, just before Christmas, I believe.  So you can see I hardly lost much weight before the holidays.  Then during the holidays I have to admit I fluctuated a bit, but essentially stayed the same weight.

I last weighed last Friday, the day before I started Phase 1 of the DASH diet.  That was 289, but it was during the day, after eating and drinking diet soda and water.  So in order to stop myself from panicking too much, I am calling it 288 and saying I managed to keep my initial weigh loss over the past couple of months, or "over the holidays."

My highest recorded weight was 354.  I finally found that I could admit that after getting below the 300 mark!   It got up that high after our move to Watertown when Bob retired.  We moved here September 30, 2012.  Perhaps I had been that high or higher before we moved.  I remember I would plan my steps through the house to "conserve my energy."  I couldn't make it from room to room, from the bedroom to the bathroom, from the living room to the kitchen, without needing to sit down to catch my breath.  I got winded going from the parking lot into the clinic and needed to sit down to catch my breath before going to the check-in desk.  Then it hurt to stand and wait my turn because of my back.  I had to sit in the extra wide chairs in the waiting room.  At the stores I got breathless walking even short distances and was constantly looking for places to sit down to rest and catch my breath.

When I went to the bathroom, I had to use the wrong end of my toothbrush--with a cloth or flushable wipe wrapped around it--as an extension to clean myself after a bowel movement.  I couldn't reach that far back with only my arm and hand.  This is one thing I have mentioned to almost no one until today.  It is not a very pretty item to mention, but I guess I'm feeling kind of confessional.

And while telling about my weight, I should mention this one kind of uplifting note.  Use Lamisil--which is recommended for jock itch and athlete's foot--in the fat folds.  I like the spray liquid best.  I know someone who uses a generic creme with the same drug/ingredients, and she says it works fine for her.  She uses it every day after she takes her shower.  It takes care of the yeast that grows in fat folds.  I only use it when I think I'm getting a yeast infection again.  But when I'm off sugar, I rarely grow any.  Yeast feeds on sugar.  I wish I knew a way to spread the word on this.  I saw a young teen girl on a talk or health show, talking about how she wanted obesity surgery.  She talked about how much "infection" she got in her fat folds and how it itched and stunk.  (Her mother, like mine, was trim.)  I wished I could have jumped into the TV to tell her about Lamisil!

So I'm on day 3 of Phase 1 DASH diet.  I woke up with a big headache Saturday, the first day.  It must have been because I had no sugar of any kind Friday before I started day 1.  I was pretty wiped out that first day, but I kept on program and the headache finally calmed down by the end of the day.  I was looking forward to church on Sunday, partly because it would get me away from home and my eating plan for several hours.  But church was canceled because of the icy roads and snow.  So I didn't do much but watch TV and read.

Today I got dressed, even with my bra on!  I slept through The Price is Right and Jeopardy and started with breakfast about noon.  No headache, not much appetite now at 3pm.  I ate breakfast and a snack.  Now I have to eat lunch and another snack before dinner!  The DASH eating plan says not to skip any meals, so I'm spreading them out and will catch up by this evening.  After completing this entry and posting on Facebook, Il write to a couple of friends and do some sewing.  Not going out of the house until Wednesday because of the cold.  We have plenty of the right foods stocked.

Yesterday I finally admitted I do NOT like plain Jell-O.  I decided I would not use it, even though DASH says I should.  It is one item I can have as many servings of as I can eat.  Today, however, I'm thinking I should go ahead and eat it.  The author of my book on the DASH diet says it kills your hunger for sweets and fruits (fruits are not on Phase 1), so since we have a number of cups of it in the frig, I'm eating it as suggested in the Phase 1 menu.  If nothing else, it does kind of turn off my ability to enjoy food.  I suppose I will learn to love it after a while.  When I get to Phase 2, I think I'll put some fruit in with the Jell-O.

Sunday I did eat some refried beans.  I microwaved about 6 ounces with some shredded cheese.  That was not expressly on the menu, but it was something allowed during this phase.  It really filled me up and seemed to comfort me.  The book says to have more of, say, a protein food if you are feeling weak.  So I used that advice as justification.

On DASH, we can have diet gelatin and non-starch vegetables in unlimited quantities.  I have my peanuts in the form of organic peanut butter, which I spread on celery.  I LOVE that.  I also love my lunch meat and cheese roll-ups in place of sandwiches.  (It's a sandwich without the bread.)  Wednesday when we go out, I'll get lots of Romaine lettuce so I can roll up the meat and cheese in it.

I'm going to go now and fix my lunch and have a whole can of string beans, which we got for 29 cents a can of sale.  Oh, and I want to mention my discovery of Walmart's Great Value brand light yogurt Banana Creme Pie flavor.  It contains fructose and artificial sweeteners, but I love banana flavor!  And only one cup (6 oz) of yogurt is allowed per day during Phase 1.

So happy eating to anyone reading this blog.  I will journal about my eating plan here.  And I encourage all of us to pray for the strength to do what it takes to make ourselves healthier.  I thank the Lord for the strength he gives me to carry on eating right and for His forgiveness of so many years that I did not take care of my body.

294!  That's what I posted for my weight on October 28 on Facebook.  Now, 13 days later, I hope that is what I will weigh--or hopefully less--Tuesday when we return to Watertown and to our bathroom scale.   I've been fooling around too long.  Time to get back on the DASH track!!!

It's Sunday evening.  Almost bed time.  I haven't weighed myself for a few days because Bob and I have been in Minnesota.  We came for several reasons: Ginger and Gerald gave themselves a baby shower Saturday/yesterday in honor of Alexa Rachel Tiah, who will be born by c-section 2 days before Thanksgiving; Bob blessed Dan and Jenny's baby, Nora Faith Anderson, in the Elk River Ward today; Nolan received his Eagle Scout Award at a Court of Honor held this evening at the Elk River Ward.  I weighed 294 last week.  I've eaten a lot of calories this trip, I think.  I've been eating sugar things, like syrup on a waffle, cake, a cookie, an Icee.  And I've been eating some wheat products, like pasta and that waffle.   Oh, and a few of Bob's deep fried clam strips.  But then, I've been more active than if I were at home in Watertown.  I FEEL I shed a pound or two.  So I'm thinking that maybe the calories were not so many since I wasn't eating really frequently.

At any rate, I'm anxious to weigh myself Tuesday morning after the lasix pill has done its job and before I take a shower.  (That means I'll be at my lowest weight since I'll be free of water retention and free of any clothing!)

I'm using the blog to keep my thoughts and progress as I lose weight.  I'll keep clearer notes about relationships in my journal.

About time I wrote here!  I haven't been writing, but I have been keeping true to my eating plan for the most part.  I took a couple of detours, but then DASH allows up to 5 servings per week of out-of-plan food items.  I've had a couple of cookies and a bar with caramel for a bakery on the way to MN the other day.  I also had a SUBWAY sandwich made with their new bread, which is garlic bread.  I also had a 20-oz sugar Coke on the trip here.

BUT before I left, I did weigh on Tuesday and finally saw the plateau ended.  Down to 303.  I don't know any other person who could feel as good about weighing that much.  I LIVE for the day I will be in the 290s, which I sincerely hope will be next week.  But I know I need more than hope!  I need action, which I am doing.

Yesterday the kids and I went to an apple orchard in Delano and I was able to walk comfortably, albeit slowly, around the farm.  It is more than an orchard; it is a farm with animals penned for children to visit and feed.  There are some baby animals to hold, a giant pumpkin maze, a corn bin, and lots of other things to keep you engaged in playing or (in my case) watching what is going on.  I bought some honey crisp apples and caramels, one for each of us.  So I felt I got in a bit of exercise.  Then last night Abby and I went to JoAnn to buy her Halloween costume pattern and fabrics.

Got plans sewing today.  We went to the orchard yesterday because the forecast was for rain today.  However, the sun is shining brightly!  It was overcast yesterday and rained after we left the orchard/farm.  It was awful driving last night as it was raining the whole trip to JoAnn.  Gotta go sew with the kids.  Gonna put Abby or Nolan (who enjoys doing "grunt work") to work pressing the fabrics for the costume.  Gonna get Janie and/or Abby (Nolan too?) sewing on an apron for Andrea's birthday.

I can't write down my present weight because my body seems confused.  Last Saturday I was in the car for 8 hours, traveling with friends from the branch to attend the Winter Quarters Temple.   My feet and ankles held a LOT of water in my system.  I had taken all of my lasix, but something about being in the car with my feet down riding always makes my ankles and lower legs swell.

Last Sunday, we had potluck after church.  We had lots of our bean casserole left over, so I ate some of that Sunday and Monday.  It had sugar in it, and I was feeling head achey.

Then I was sewing on a quilt for Dan and Jenny's baby, due October 21.  I sat long hours at the sewing machine and the ironing board.  My feet and ankles stayed swollen all week.

Today I finally weighed, and YIKES!!!  Even after  my morning lasix, and urinating a good amount, my feet and ankles were still swollen, though less than before the lasix, and my weight was up to 308.  Naked!  (I took a shower.  I never take my clothes off, weigh, and then put the clothes back on.)

The kicker is that I have eaten very little all week.  Less than I should have.  And I could tell as I showered, that my body was smaller.  So I figure, I'm retaining more fluid now and that it is probably because of the lack of getting my feet up this past week.

My feet and ankles hurt a lot.  I also itch, which I think is nervousness over my weight.  Oh, and I took an extra lasix tab on Thursday.  My internist in Anoka said I could take a second lasix in one day if I thought I needed it.  I thought the additional lasix might take the swelling away.  But no.

I'm thinking I might go to the FP doc here in Watertown next week if the pain and swelling don't subside over the weekend.  I plan to do things with my feet up, which means not working on the second quilt.  In the future, I'll have to limit my sewing time so I don't get to the point of painful swelling.

Growing old is not pretty!

Didn't take my lasix until just now, 6 PM.  Kastels were still here this morning, and I wanted to leave all possibilities open, like going shopping or going out to eat.  Then after they left, I did some embroidery with the TV on and fell asleep.  After waking, I plain old forgot to take lasix.  Until now.

So I stepped on the scale and it told me 305.  So that means I didn't gain anything because it included some water weight, which is at least 2 lbs.  I was 304 a few days ago, so I at least stayed the same and at best lost another 1.  I am eating leftovers from Guadalajara and drinking Cherry Limeade.  Bob went out on some errands.  I'll be cutting fabric for the baby quilts while watching TV.  Bob can trade TVs with me.  I plan to also do a few 9-patch squares.  I only have  8 more of the 34 embroidered squares left to finish.  It will cost me about $45 to have Dakota Quilt Shop topstitch each baby quilt.  Becky and I went there and decided they are THE place in Watertown to have quilts finished.

Tomorrow morning we are going on a branch temple trip to the Winter Quarters Temple in Omaha.  Stan Lamb will ride with us.  We'll eat at a buffet afterward, so that will be easy to pick legal foods.  I still expect to weigh 299 by next Wednesday, September 25.

304!!  I'm sure this is the lowest I will weigh today.  Hooray!  Only 5 til I get to my goal for September 25.   9 days away.  I can hardly wait to see the first numeral of my weight be a 2!

Gotta go eat and then help Bob with the dinner for the missionaries.  That will be 5:00.  It's almost 2:00, so we only have 3 hours to get it done.  Meatloaf and potatoes in the oven.  Green beans from a can.  Jell-O brand instant cheesecake from a package.  Bob adds cream cheese.  Then we put canned pie filling on top of the individual pieces.  I'm the meatloaf expert!  I also am the potato baker.

305!  Wearing underwear.  Lasix taken 2 hours ago.  I expect the weight to go down more.  But I just HAD to record this right away.  Every 5 is a goal marker.  Only 6 more to lose in 9 days.  I can do this!
I'll probably make another entry today since I will probably record a lower rate after a few more trips to the bathroom.  Yes, I seem to be getting a bit obsessive.

It's 7 am on a Sunday.  I've been eating fairly decently and have not gained.  I have been the same weight for a long time.  Just now I weighed 308.  After a couple of hours I will weigh less because I took my lasix about 6 am and have urinated once so far.  I suppose that later I will go down to 305 without clothes.  I'll take a shower before going to church.

I'm starting to sound like this character from Law and Order, a young model (?) who weighed everything she ate and everything she excreted.  I think she even saved some of the waste products in plastic bags.  But she kept exact track of all of that in a notebook with dates and times.  Except she was very, very thin.  In fact, painfully skinny by anyone's standards.  While I don't weigh what I excrete, I do sometimes weigh myself after each trip to the bathroom after having taken my lasix.

Bob and I can see we are having difficulty living on our fixed income of his annuity and my Social Security.  I applied to the local hospital for "clerking" at the cardiology clinic.  That is where I see Dr Jones.  They are looking for full time, but I only want part time.  So maybe there will be other openings in the future.  One of the admitting clerks I talked with when I was registering for my monthly blood test said they are always looking for help.  I should also look into teaching freshman English at the local junior and technical colleges in town.  The main problem there is that my English experience is 20 years old!  And it would be more work for less money, probably.

A HUGE problem with Bob and me working is that we would not be free to return to visit family in Minnesota much.  But then, it really is more important that we be able to afford to live.  We could do okay on what we have coming in, though.  We have to decide.  That is something we have been putting off or avoiding even talking with one another.

So he wanted pizza yesterday.  We got a Papa Murphy chicken with white sauce.  I ate 2 pieces for dinner.  It is allowed on my eating DASH, but it is on the list of things to have once a week.  I had eaten some from that list earlier in the week.  So I was not true to DASH.  I shouldn't keep calling it DASH, but can't think of a better term right now.

"Legal?"  No.  I don't want to make myself a criminal!

I'll think about it another time.  Gotta go to the bathroom.  Again.  I seem to spend most of my mornings going back and forth to the bathroom!

311 today.  I am paying for our anniversary dinner at Lunker's with 3 re-gained pounds of flesh!!!  Why oh why does it take a day to gain 3 pounds, but then about a week to lose it?

I guess I could lie here.  Or I could not mention weight again until I get down to 307.  Or I could simply not write until the weight is down.  After all, I don't do daily posts here.

A week or so ago, I set a goal to weigh 299 by Wednesday, September 25.  I will not change that.  I've done that many, many times in the past.  (I've changed goal weights, that is.)   So, that is 18 days.  12 pounds in 18 days.  Hmmmmm. . . ..  I can do it.  I will eat mostly vegetables and drink only water; diet soda seems to help retain fluids, PLUS, I think it stimulates the appetite.

Monday Bob and I are going to the rec center to use free passes and to decide if that is where we want to buy a membership.  I would like to join there because several women in the branch have memberships.  Sheila and Nancy are two.  The 3 of us are dieting and supporting each other.  So we could do water aerobics together or just use the equipment.  I think I will try to walk in the mall today.  I know I will be sorely tempted to buy some Cherry Blossom Body Lotion at the Bath and Body store. I'm almost out, and I love the scent.  But then I think I should use up the lotions I have that don't smell as good first!  When I die, my kids will probably find multiple bottles of partially used lotion.  I really must sort more.

Gotta do my daily embroidery.  I scheduled myself to do 2 embroidery blocks per day for the first baby quilt, the one for Dan and Jenny's girl that is due Oct 21 by C-section.  I'll be done with the embroidery next Wednesday.  After I finish their quilt, I'll start Ginger and Gerald's quilt for their baby coming Dec 3 (?), also by C-section.  If I don't get anything but the embroidery done today, I will consider this day a success.  I would like to also made suckers for Mary and for Bob and our friends here in Watertown.

308!!!  Today is our wedding anniversary.  #44 already!  I've got a hair appt this afternoon and need to have my blood drawn to check my INR because I'm on Warfarin.   Then I plan to get some more Sugar-free Cherry Limeade at the local Super Walmart.  That is the BEST sugar-free pop I've ever tasted.  I drank a lot of Diet Sunkist Lemonade yesterday, and I think that is what made me itch all over in the evening.

So I'm thinking I should drop below 300 within the next 2 weeks!!  I can hardly wait!  I need to lose about 25 inches from my waist; that keeps me humble.  We still haven't joined the rec center yet.  But I can't have a discussion about it with Bob today.  For one, it is our anniversary.  And two: Miranda and Amelia are here doing laundry.  With such a small house, one can hear everything said within its walls.

I'm curious to know what Bob thinks of my menu pages.  Blanks for us to fill in for meals and snacks.

310.2  Hooray!  Glad the plateau has passed.  But I know more plateaus lie ahead.

I can hardly wait to lose enough--I'm hoping by tomorrow--so the second digit is a zero in my weight.  And then I will be thrilled beyond belief to finally get below 300 so the FIRST digit will be a two!!!

It must be a rare occasion to find anyone who looks forward to such a high weight as a goal in lowering their weight.  And then to be so joyful in the anticipation.

I found myself wanting to apologize to Andrea and Madelyn for seeming not to enjoy what they made for meals!!!  It points out how I learned (probably from childhood) to eat a lot to make others happy, to not insult their cooking.  I'm not blaming my parents, but it has been a habit.  While I might not have apologized directly, I do remember saying to both that I enjoyed the food, but that I was watching my portion size.  What I ate was enough, but I realized that often I have eaten beyond satisfaction to please a host.  I even kind of apologized to a waitress at Famous Dave's for not finishing my soup!  "It's delicious, but I didn't have enough room in my stomach to finish it."

Can you believe?  Apologizing to a complete stranger--one who I will probably never see again, and if we did meet up again, we'd not remember that restaurant visit--for not eating my soup.  AND for not taking the rest of it home!  At least taking leftovers home, it says "I like the food, and I'm not going to insult you and the cooks and the management."

But it doesn't always go like that.  Often I have left food and made no comment.  Well, none to the employees.  I have apologized to Bob for wasting food at restaurants when I leave it uneaten and do not take the leftovers home.

It must have been frustrating to my mother when it came to feeding us kids.  She was born in 1910 and married in 1933, during The Great Depression.  Her family was poor, as were most back when she was a child.  Between her background and the rough financial times when she and Dad started their family, it was great that they were able to care for and feed their family.  We were taught to always "clean our plates."    After all, there were plenty of less fortunate children all over the world who didn't ever have enough to eat.  Membership in the clean plate club was how we showed our appreciation.  But then, two of us girls had weight problems growing up, thus the frustration for Mom.

Someday I might mention other factors I believe added to my seeming determination to remain obese.  But I wonder if that is really even necessary in journaling today's plans and efforts to eat right, exercise, and lose weight.

Going forth with prayer in living today!

We are in MN, staying with Ryan's family.  Today Bob and Larry Kastel went to the state fair for a few hours.  Becky and I stayed at their house and I used her light table to trace patterns onto fabric for the 2 baby quilts.  After that, we went to Panera for lunch.  Then to a favorite quilt shop in Anoka.  I bought fabric and a pattern for a handbag and some fabric for the baby quilt backs.  The feeling I get in such quilt stores is exactly what I felt as a child when I went into the neighborhood store/candy to buy candy.  DROOL!!!!  It's a magic world.

After dinner, we played dominoes the rest of the evening.  What a great time!!!

Becky and I both had gastric bypass.  Becky got all of her excess weight off and then gained maybe 30 lbs. back, but she fits normal sizes.  As noted earlier, I foraged my way back up to and beyond my pre-surgery weight.  That happens to lots of GB patients, but they are not the ones the surgeons boast about.  You don't see pictures of us in the literature in the bariatric surgeons office.  Anyway, Becky is one of my closest friends.  And her husband us one of Bob's closest friends.

I didn't have breakfast because I got up only with time enough to get dressed and comb my hair before we left to get to Kastel's house.  Lunch was soup and pasta salad and a whole grain roll.  Water to drink.  Dinner was tacos at Becky's.  Crystal Light to drink.  I didn't eat much today, which was probably not the best.  I should have planned it.  But it is a holiday weekend, and we were very busy.  So when in doubt, I left it out.  (Food, that is.)

Will be glad to weigh next Wed morning.  Hope I drop a couple of pounds!

I am getting so impatient.  Supposedly we get more patient as we age.  I think we just move slower and mistake that for patience.

August 12 was 17 days ago.  Weighed 318 that day.   This morning I recorded 316, but that was with the water retention the lasix hadn't yet cleared.   I could probably minus a pound or two and say today's wt is 314.5.  But over 2 weeks, I've lost only 3.5 lbs!!!   That is sooooooo pitiful!


We will return to Watertown next Tuesday.  I will weigh late Wednesday morning after the lasix effect is over.  That will be my lowest weight of the day.  (I have been recording my weight from that time of day here in the blog.)  I can guarantee my lowest weight by taking these measures after taking lasix:
     1)  not drinking anything until after urination has stopped
     2)  not eating anything until after urination has stopped
     3)  weighing naked (!)

I routinely do 1 and 2.  I routinely weigh wearing underwear and a light gown.  I need to stop obsessing about how to see my lowest weight.  My greatest fear is that I will step on the scale and 3 or 4 pounds will have jumped back on!  I would like to weigh under 300 ASAP!!!  Today Bob and I weigh about the same.  He is over 6 feet and looks just awful.  That means at 5'4" I must look like Jabba the Hutt.  I avoid full length mirrors and look into any mirror only briefly.  I get sick when I see pictures of myself.  That is not who I am inside.  I think my weight is what makes me have trouble sleeping Saturday nights: my church friends will see me. I dread putting on a dress and trying to make my hair interesting enough to distract from my piles of flab.  I am trapped inside.

Tomorrow will be a better day, as Scarlet O'Hara says.

I know God loves me.  I don't deserve it.  

Turns out that I lied.  I did not weigh myself after the lasix pill was done doing its magic.  We spent the morning getting ready to leave for MN, which included Bob frying up some Little Smokies and making me eat half of them.  (Humor/sarcasm; I am responsible for what I eat, not Bob.)  I LOVE sausages, and he browned them just the way I love.  It is actually "blacking" them as I grew up with a mother who cooked the living daylights out of meat to kill the "trichinosis" that was undoubtedly in every speck of it back in the 1940s and 50s when she was raising her brood.  So YUMMY on this morning's sausage.

I must admit I DID weigh myself shortly after taking the lasix.  (Maybe after my first urination.)  And I weighed 316, wearing my housecoat.  Bummer.  But still NOT 348!

Amen!