A New Year

Here are a couple of pictures from Christmas at Ryan and Andrea's. I decided to include them after writing my entry, which starts in the next paragraph. The first is Janie and Abby and their new dolls wearing the nightgowns I sewed for them. The second is a shot we managed to capture of Mason wearing the flannel PJs I sewed for him. We had to roll up the sleeves and cuffs that night, but it leaves plenty of room to grow!

I haven't written here since well before Christmas, and I've been putting it off for some unknown reason I haven't taken the time to figure out. I can dismiss that concern by admitting that I am plain lazy. Looks like I'm absolving myself of responsibility by saying, "That's just the way I am. So there!"

Writing a blog is totally unlike anything. It is a journal. Yet it isn't private. If I were the only "audience" to consider, I'd have written a lot more often. I am always filled with things to write or say. I believe we all this "conversation" going on inside our heads. But when I consider the wide variety of those who might care to read my blog, I naturally weigh what to include, and even sometimes HOW to say it. That isn't so different from how we human beings act when talking with each other. Yet it can be even more so (for me, at least) when I think of the great unknown audience who could possibly click on my blog. I often think maybe because I am the youngest of my siblings I hold back and say less in order to be sure we all "get along," and that generalizes to how I interact with the rest of the world of family, friends and acquaintances--and even strangers. But as I already wrote, I am always filled with thoughts and therefore have a wealth of things I COULD say or write here.

After Christmas I would like to have posted pictures of Ryan and Andrea's girls with their new American Girls Dolls, which they got from Santa. I sewed Abby and Janie flannel nightgowns and matching nighgowns for their new dolls, Samantha and Nellie. I sewed Kayla a nightgown as well. Those were some of the gifts I took such delight in sewing as Christmas gifts. But then, I thought, that might sound like boasting. I didn't want to sound full of myself! I also realized I didn't sew for ALL of the grandchildren, so didn't want to make Robin and her children feel left out because the gifts I sent them were not personal. I have rarely sewn for my Utah grandchildren, and I really ought to. I made dresses and quilts other years for Mazie, Hannah, and Nina, and was happy to get advice this year for books as gifts since they are getting into their teens and any good grandmother knows better than to sew surprise clothing of any kind for kids that age! So I remained silent here on the blog. I could have written in my personal journal, but then I get back to the fact that I am generally lazy. Writing takes energy! Did you ever notice that?

Well, I can say that this Christmas was very good for me. I had the time to sew a number of gifts, as mentioned above. I took the time to reflect on the Savior's birth and thank Him for his sacrifice in coming to the world as a baby and showing us the way to return to the heavenly home from which we all came. I have a renewed gratitude for family. I'd have to say this has been an "internal" Christmas since I haven't spoken a whole lot about what has been going on inside me. It's just been that tears of joy well up whenever I think to speak and very often when I simply watch those around me. It happened when I watched the Primary children sing at the ward Christmas party and sacrament service, when I was with family, and yes, even when I watched other shoppers at Target and Walmart and package-mailers at the post office. Try to discretely handle a Kleenex waiting in line to send off a Christmas package! I started straightening the Post Office pamphlets and found myself explaining to the stranger behind me in line that I often do such things and even clean the sink area when in public bathrooms. She kind of smiled and said nothing back. I don't blame her. You never know what comes to people's minds around the holidays, and I might have been a Looney Tune.

And it happened again at church today. I didn't clean the sinks in the ladies' room, but I did find myself looking around at family and friends very near grateful tears. I am so blessed. I am so loved. I am so grateful for Bob, who has loved me all these years without question. I am grateful for six beautiful children and 15 marvelous grandchildren (so far). I am grateful for being privileged to teach the Sunbeams in Primary again this year. I have so many to love and serve. I look forward to 2009 and beyond.

So if I don't say much, please understand. This blog is unique and unlike anything else I have ever experienced. I want to share the good things and some of the silly things. Yet I still feel the need to edit myself as I consider you who might care to read, whether it be only a few or everyone I know. My basic laziness (paired with my procrastining ways) kicks in after wearing myself out with all of the thinking and here I am with few blog postings! Looks like in the course of making this entry, I may have figured out--or invented--the reason I put off blogging during the holidays.

The best to us all for today and all the tomorrows to come! I can't make any promises to blog regularly, but I promise to be here. And you know how to get a hold of me.